Tag Archives: nepal

“Sit with the pain; be with the pain” Hindsight Blog: The Descent

I jolted awake at 2am,at  5200masl, and noticed I had drooled blood all over my sweater (lululemon took a beating on this trek). Had my lip split? Was I coughing up blood in my sleep? Did I have a pulmonary edema as a result of altitude sickness?

With no other symptoms, my hypochondriac brain was mildly too tired to overreact and frankly well past caring- I let myself drift back off to the oxygen deprived sleep I’d come from. Living in the alternate reality of the Diamox dreams. What was I going to do about it anyway?

The rest of my group trekked to Kalapathar that day, starting at 4:30am. I was too sick and too tired to bother- knowing that the point of the hike was to see a panoramic sunrise view of the Everest range, and it was dead cloudy anyway. By the time they got back around 9am, I had only been awake for an hour, but seen the Everest range from the bathroom window. My body said no, and my mind followed suit. The stories of hallucination from my trekking mates were entertaining, but I was happy I continued hallucinating within my dreams that morning instead!


After breakfast that day we began our descent. Our head guide was very anxious to get us down to lower altitudes, as every single one of us was starting to suffer- including himself. I only remember pieces of this day, but I do recall this being where I really started feeling extremes of emotion and pain. Also where I began using the “Om Mani Padme Hum” mantra in my head. Compassion for inner and outer struggles, compassion for the journey- “the jewel within the lotus”, the light in the dark, the blessing from the curse. Moving slowly down from over 5000 back to around 4000 was physically challenging in a whole new way. Descending was always difficult in that it’s hard impact on all your joints- but now, after 10 days of trekking, every joint was a little bit louder. And, descending we were- but that doesn’t mean there weren’t any hills to climb. We stopped briefly in Lombouche for lunch (4500), but most of us had lost all appetite. I think I fell asleep at the table for a while. Then we carried on down to a small tea house a few hours down. I am currently calling this place “Yak House” because A) I can’t remember most of this day, B) I misdated my journal and skipped this day, and C) it was where we saw our first yak on the way up.


We spent the night here, and it was here where we experienced the first bathrooms we refused to use (we being Lisa and I), and instead used one of the many surrounding boulders. I believe it was this day that I began listening to music for the first time while trekking. The first day I did this on the descent I couldn’t stop smiling. This was likely a combination of increased oxygen to my brain and a good playlist.

The next morning we carried on towards Tengboche. The hardest part of this day was the incline up to the monastery which was about 30-45min. Again, more oxygen and music kept me pumping all the way up. Before we joined a worship with the resident monks, we had a few hours off in which we got to each lunch and I TOOK MY FIRST SHOWER IN 7 DAYS!!!!!! Finally, I started to feel human again. I also had my first “steak” here- which was basically ground meat in the shape of a steak.. Regardless.. protein and iron.. two things I was definitely craving.


That afternoon we joined in on a worship in the monastery. Since it was a Saturday, they did a 2hr long meditation. This was very different from any meditation or worship I’ve experienced. Complete with chanting, horns, drums, and silences (usually ended with startling blares from the numerous horns). During the periods I was able to meditate I transitioned between flashbacks to a conflict I’d had a year or so prior to this, moments of pure calmness, and moments of unsettledness. Flashing back to memories of feeling isolated, alone, scared- but also calm. A conflict that had never really been resolved within myself or the other person within it. Then during periods of the loud music I saw colours.. red, yellow flashes. Warm, but chaotic. It was a very cyclical process, and I can’t say that I came out of it feeling peaceful or settled- rather quite the opposite.

We were now sitting at just over 3200masl, a much nicer altitude then what we’d become accustomed to. That night I dreamt I was being circled and chased by a darkness. It was always watching, always waiting to attack- completely out of my control. I woke up periodically shivering, even though it wasn’t cold.

Over the next few days I would learn that I was not the only one to experience that dream at that monastery.

The next morning I woke up with an anger I hadn’t ever experienced. I couldn’t spend any time in the guest house, and as soon as breakfast had ended I took myself outside to pace. I felt suffocated and a deep need to get away from everyone and the monastery.


As soon as the group started our descent to Namche that day, I had my ear phones in and didn’t talk to anyone for the next 3 hr trek. As much as some parts of this trek are hazy, the pure rage I felt this day is still clear as day. I don’t know where it came from, but I do understand it was something I probably needed to let go of. Since my return home there’s been some interesting revelations and emotional adjustments that I can only explain with the rage I felt on this day, and the calm I felt after letting it out.

We spent a few hours back in Namche, shopping and what not, before continuing our way down to our final tea house on the long trek. It was here I tried some Nepal home brew- which tasted like watered down Kool-Aid and Antifreeze (really, still confused about that). At this point everyone was a strong mix of unbelievably fatigued, but also so excited to be pretty much done. We had a celebration that night, complete with dancing.


The next day, the last trekking day, we returned to Lukla. This was our first day of constant rain, and our “waterproof” gear failed every test. So did the zippers on my backpack a few days prior. So, completely soaked and entirely empty- we landed at the tea house where we started it all. When my football coaches saw the picture of me below- they stated “holy sh** we’ve never seen you look that exhausted before…”. They knew me in University as an AT student. Everest you win!


That night Lisa and I taught the Australian in our group, Noah, how to line dance in a shady “Irish Pub” underneath a “Starbucks” in Lukla. The trekking was done, but the adventure was FAR from over!

Advertisements
Tagged , , ,

#%!?%#! Mountain… 

Day 2 here in Namche Bazzar as we acclimatize to our new altitude of 3400m. Tomorrow we hike up to 3800m.. So today we did a quick morning 2.5hr (and according to our guides “simple”) acclimatizing hike up to that altitude here above the village. 

Simple. Yeah. Right. 

We literally hiked into a cloud. 

Like- mist, cloud floating everywhere, only seeing 10ft in front of you while trekking up hill right after breakfast for 2hrs. 


I definitely regretted the “pancake with honey” I ate for breakfast. Eggs and toast from now on. Or garlic soup. 

At about the hour point my head began to talk me out of the whole thing. My legs kept moving (bless them) but as I looked up every 5 steps into the abyss, occasionally being passed by a Sherpa carrying 50lbs on their backs and running up the rocks in sandals (this is NOT and exaggeration), with my lungs acting like a fish out of water- I literally came up with about 100 new curse words. Most of them cursing the mountains them self, the altitude, and my guides for keeping the slow and steady pace going. 

Our pace? Jam jam slow (jam = go), 15min walking and 1 min rest. Not. Enough. Rest. For. This. Prairie. Dwelling. Canadian. 

My don’t bring the mountain your sadness mantra was thrown in in between the curse combinations I created. Zen with a dash of attitude- that’s the way we’ll be rolling for the next few days as we only climb higher and higher. 


We reached the top- and what I can only imagine would have been phenomenal views behind the cloud. Nonetheless pretty damn amazing. 

After a quick tea we began the descent- which you’d think would be quite pleasant after the #%?!~%# way up. And it was on the lungs, for sure, I didn’t even notice my breathing. I did notice the balls of my feet though. Luckily my legs are still feeling very strong, but it was about and hour of hard landings on uneven stone trails for my wimp feet. 

Finally. Finally we reached Namche again, after some great views above the city. On the way down I got a bit of a headache and a few mood swings- but after eating some delicious garlic soup, sipping some milk coffee and resting I felt back to normal again. 

We spent the rest of the afternoon exploring Namche, found a money exhchange that would finally take a MasterCard (running low on cash and NO ATMs or money stores take MC for some reason- only Visa),and worked on our bartering game. I found myself a cozy vest and some pashminas and was successful with my bartering! As I type this I’m lounging with a few others in my group in the common area of our tea house debating whether or not I want to pay for a hot shower or tough out a cold one. This is likely our last chance for any sort of shower for the next 5 days. 

Soon we’ll have dinner and a debrief of tomorrow. We move up to 3800m tomorrow, over 6hrs vs the 2hrs we did today so I’m crossing my fingers for less steep inclines. Although I’m learning when they say “gradual incline” here it IS NOT the gradual incline most expect. It is usually curse word inducing. 

Until next time (who knows when- wifi gets less and less from now on)! 

Tagged , , ,